my mother, a fool: stop eating so many mozzarella sticks
me, an intellectual: i am sick and tired of this constant kinkshaming
(via laughcentre)
Men: We don’t need super hero movies with female protagonists + female directors because people won’t like them and won’t watch them.
Wonder Woman: Hold my beer
(via succeeding)
Why do boys care if girls fill in their eyebrows I mean if boys had the chance to draw more inches on their dick I bet they would
(via oknope)
Do you ever memorize a person’s voice? Like you can construct a sentence in your mind that that person’s never said, and yet you hear them say it.
Is that a thing people can do?????????
yea
(via whatsacanada)
(via succeeding)
mindfuck of the day
the alphabet has been saying “hi” to you all these years. and i bet you didnt even say it back once you piece of shit
Why did you have to draw in the O and P
to distract everyone from the W
(via hotboyproblems)
The more you look at this picture, the more anxious it becomes.
this is just a normal waffle house
there is a bloody handprint on the door
There is somethung under the counter with the cups
A normal waffle house
is that a tentacle wrapped around the little boy’s arm
WE’RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THE EYEBALL ON THAT MAN’S PLATE??
It be like that at waffle House
The blind old guy has fish gills
HAVE NONE OF YOU BEEN TO A WAFFLE HOUSE?
The furthest man on the counter has tendrils coming out of his face.
Bones of a small animal in the pepper shaker.
The skull in the coffee cup?
Oh, I missed the skull. That’s IHOP, then.
Artist is Jeff Lee Johnson. Title is ‘Blue Plate Special’.
the blind guy is reading the newspaper????
Is the pie supposed to be like that?
(via atinyhungrypanda)
c3po:
c3po:
hey guys can i make a nsfw post?
I don’t get go work for another three hours. Can it wait
big sex fuck
I just got fired for being horny in the coal mine. Thanks a lot.
(via whatsacanada)
(via done)
(via itsagifnotagif)
just had a dream that I drank 40 litres of vodka, entered a horse race and won.
I should specify that I entered not as a jockey but as a horse
were you physically a horse or were you a human entering as a horse? did you have a jockey?
i was a human entering as a horse, no jockey, just me running like the fucking wind
(via jearumy)
i envy people who have dreams with clear rational plots like “i was on my favourite tv show for a day” my dreams are like i’m in a diner and i’m pregnant. i leave the diner and i’m in a forest watching the pregnant woman who is no longer me. she turns around and now we’re in a jeep and she’s my dad. we’re listening to music which is somehow numbers. he asks if i remember the time we went to pakistan and i say yeah because i do. i wake up and remember i’ve never been to pakistan in my life.
(via succeeding)
